Audra McDonie, Author at An Introvert's View

30 Amazing and Simple ways to Pay it forward

Audra McDonie / Self-Help / Leave a Comment

“No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.” -Aesop

We’ve all heard the saying “pay it forward”, but where did this idea come from and what does it really mean? It started with Catherine Ryan Hyde’s book Pay It Forward and then became more well known in 2000 when the book was made into a film of the same name. The movie is about eleven year old Trevor, ( played by Haley Joel Osment), who is inspired by his social studies teacher’s (Kevin Spacey), challenge to come up with an idea that will change the world. Trevor comes up with the idea of paying it forward, which consists of doing a favor that really helps someone, and then telling him or her not to pay it back, but to instead pay it forward to three other people who in turn each pay it forward to three more – and on and on into a global outpouring of kindness and decency. I remember seeing this movie and thinking this was an idea that truly could change the world, or at the very least make it a better place.

Catherine Ryan Hyde, the author of Pay It Forward established the Pay It Forward Foundation in 2000. According to their website, “she established it as a catalyst to inspire growth for the pay it forward philosophy, acts of kindness among strangers, generating a ripple effect from one person to the next, one community to the next.” Over its 17 year history the foundation has inspired countless acts of kindness and it has inspired people all over the world to make the philosophy part of their daily lives. The foundation has also published a young readers edition of the Pay It Forward book to be used by teachers in schools. If you are a teacher and you want to use the book as part of your curriculum, you can request a class set on their website: payitforwardfoundation.com. If you are a parent and want to buy it for your child it is available at Barnes & Noble.

I would like be a more giving person and I am planning to make the pay it forward concept part of my daily life. I can only imagine what kind of world we would live in if every person incorporated this simple idea into their lives. So I have scoured the internet to find many different ways each and everyone of us can pay it forward on a daily basis.

30 Great Ways to Pay It Forward

Compliment the first 3 people you talk to today.
Send a positive text message to five different people today.
Put inspirational notes around your office, school, neighborhood etc…
Tell someone they dropped a dollar, a five or even a ten and then give it to them.
Donate towels, toys or food to an animal shelter.
Let someone go in front of you in line.
Leave a gas gift card at the gas pump.
Leave an inspirational note on someone’s car.
Smile at 5 strangers.
Take flowers or treats to the nurses station at your nearest hospital.
Leave a box of goodies in your mailbox for your mail carrier.

“We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.”
-Winston Churchill

Give freely without expecting anything in return. Many people will ask how they can pay you back for your kindness. Tell them about the pay it forward concept. Tell them you don’t want anything, but you would like them to pay the good deed forward to someone else.

Bring a homeless person a meal.
Leave a good book behind in a cafe, train, bus, airplane, etc..
Pay for someone’s coffee.
Give blood.
Donate to a cause you believe in.
Listen to someone’s story. Many people have nobody to listen to them or someone who cares about them.
Give someone some words of encouragement.
Pray for someone in need. Send them love and pray that they have enough strength to get through what they’re going through.
Offer to take someone’s photo
Leave change where kids can easily find it.
Give up your seat to an elderly person or a woman.
Help someone pursue their dream.
Write a positive review for a good business.
Tell someone they made a difference in your life
Make a donation to your local food bank.

“None is useless in this world, who lightens the burdens of another.”
-Charles Dickens

Leave a toy in a shopping cart with a note that says, “please accept this gift for your child, to make the trip easier for both of you.”
Leave an envelope of money in a shopping cart.
Pay someone’s bill anonymously at a restaurant.
Create blessing bags for the homeless. They consist of non-perishable food items, personal hygiene products and clothing. To find out more about blessing bags go to Strongluv.com.

I hope that I have inspired you to incorporate this simple notion into your life. I really believe that if each one of us paid it forward (with these ideas or ones of your own) a few times a week, our world would be a kinder, gentler and more loving place. Take care and have fun on your pay it forward journey!

I would love to hear some of your pay it forward ideas! Please leave them in the comment box below!

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What to do when life sucks

Audra McDonie / Self-Help / Leave a Comment

“Sometimes life just sucks the jelly right out of your donut.” -Unknown

Life has never been easy, but lately it seems that the difficulty factor has notched up a good bit. The coronavirus pandemic, the hostile political climate, and the in your face media coverage, makes us feel like absolutely nothing good is going on in the world, and it is a lot to process. This along with the hundreds of other things we have to do and deal with on a daily basis, is a lot. I don’t mean to sound negative, but there’s no two ways about it, sometimes life really does suck. Now that we’ve cleared that up, what do we do when we’re stuck in a rough patch?

Unfortunately, life is going to continue to suck sometimes, it’s the nature of the beast. Even if we magically had everything we ever wanted in this life, there would still be times that sucked. We can’t control that there are always going to be difficulties and challenges at times. The only thing that we can control is ourselves and our reactions to them.

Change our perspective. Looking at things from a more positive point of view isn’t easy because our instinct as humans is to assess all situations through a negative filter. By focusing on the negative, we keep ourselves safe by avoiding things that can hurt us or make us feel bad. This negative instinct is not our friend. It makes us look at things in a pessimistic way for no reason. It isn’t helping us anymore in the world that we live in today. Advertisers and the media know about this predisposition to look for danger and they exploit it to sell us products and to control us. We have no control over what we see on the news, other people’s actions or even how they treat us, but we have full control of ourselves, our attitudes and our perspectives. We need to critically think and digest information and not just believe it because it is said with conviction. If we do this, we may find that things are not as bad as we thought.

Focus on the good. If you are reading this, you are probably lucky enough to have a roof over your head and food to eat. 821 million people in the world do not have enough to eat, so you’re one of the lucky ones. Change your perspective, change your life, right?

We live in world where everyone wants more… Society has set unrealistic standards that make us feel like we don’t have enough and that we are not enough. This could not be further from the truth. We already have everything we need and the way each and everyone of us is right now at this moment is more than enough!

Express gratitude. Miya Yamanouchi said that “gratitude is the antidote for misery.” I think this may well be true. Every day find something that you’re grateful for and write about it. You can post it on social media or express it through art, the important thing is to share it with the world in some way. We need more positivity out there to balance out the negativity! Write down one good thing that happened each day. Put them in jar and at the end of the year read them so you can relive all the amazing things that happened to you that year. Also, try doing one random act of kindness per day. It will make you feel great and life will feel a little less sucky!

So yes, life can suck sometimes. If we expect that it’s not always going to be smooth sailing, when the difficulties arrive, we can find ways to cope. I hope that one or two of things I wrote about today will help to make your life a little less sucky! Take care and hang in there!

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Mindfulness Meditation – Begin today to change your life

Audra McDonie / Health & Wellness / 1 Comment

“Mindfulness is an intentional connection with the present moment that changes how we relate to ourselves, others and the world. A dedicated mindfulness practice cultivates compassion, inclining us to treat ourselves and one another with greater kindness.”
Insightla.org

I have been struggling with adding mindfulness meditation to my daily routine. I decided to do a little fact finding about its benefits to see if this may inspire me. I knew that doing it was good for you, but I had no idea that it is a viable solution to a lot of physical and mental illnesses. I think you will be as surprised as me to discover, that mindfulness meditation may be the panacea for a lot of the things that ail us in our modern world.

What is Mindfulness Meditation?

It is based on conscious living and being aware of your mind and your body. The intent is to put a stop to unconscious or mechanical activity, and instead be present and aware of what is going on in your inner world, while also being aware of the world around you.

It also requires having a non-judgmental attitude toward your thoughts and emotions. Distancing yourself from your thoughts and letting them drift by without any reaction to them. While observing internal sensations without trying to change whatever is present, even if the thoughts and feelings are uncomfortable.

Our Brains Love Mindfulness

-It improves brain function by increasing the activity in the front left side of the brain. This is the part of the brain that helps us to be more resilient concerning negative or stressful events.

-It also increases activity in the cerebral cortex (front of the brain). This area of the brain regulates emotion so this leads to better attention and self control.

What it has a positive impact on:

Depression, Anxiety, PTSD and Chronic Pain

Mindfulness meditation techniques have been shown to counter depression by decreasing negative ruminative thoughts (which are repetitive self reflections on ones assumed faults or shortcomings). According to the Harvard Gazette, studies have shown that for depression, anxiety, PTSD, and chronic pain, mindfulness meditation is as successful as existing treatments like antidepressants, pain medication and cognitive therapy. All of these have mental and physical pain in common and this type of meditation increases serotonin (hormone that stabilizes mood, sense of well-being and happiness). While also increasing a sense of acceptance for unpleasant sensations and improving emotional resiliency.

Immune System

It boosts antibody production.

Binge Eating

Increases self awareness and the ability to recognize hunger. Increases acceptance for unpleasant sensations and takes away the need to over eat to fill an emotional void.

Cellular Aging

Reduces cell death and age related diseases.

Stress

It lowers the stress response by changing stress pathways in the brain.

How do I begin?

A Simple Mindfulness Meditation Practice

(Start with a 5 minute practice and slowly build to 20 minutes. Or do 2-3 five minute practices throughout the day)

Sit Comfortably
Notice your legs – If on a cushion cross your legs in front of you. If on a chair rest your feet on the floor.
Sit up straight, but don’t stiffen your back. Let your spine curve naturally.
Notice your arms. Keep your upper arms parallel to your body and rest your palms on your legs where they feel comfortable.
Soften your gaze. Drop your chin and let your gaze go downward or close your eyes.
Bring your attention to your breathing. Moving through your nose or mouth, the up and down movement of your stomach or chest.
Notice when your mind wanders from your breath. It will wander… it’s okay, you can’t not think, don’t try. When you notice it wandering, bring your attention back to your breath.
Be kind to yourself and your mind. Don’t wrestle with your thoughts, just observe them without reacting. Sit and pay attention, that’s it. Move your mind back to your breath over and over, without judgement or expectation.
When you’re ready, lift your eyes. If they are closed, open them. Take a moment and notice how your body feels – notice your thoughts and emotions.

That’s all there is to it! It’s so incredibly simple, but adding mindfulness meditation to your life is probably one of the best things that you can do for yourself. I am going to practice it every day and I hope that you are inspired to try it too! Thanks so much for being on this journey of self discovery with me and have an amazing day!

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My friend

Audra McDonie / Poems / Leave a Comment

We are different in almost every way, but still our connection is strong and true.

There are many days, I wish to be you.

The life you lead is wild and free, while mine is confined by those who came before me.

All you do has a purpose, born within, and made apparent by your peace.

Your stoic strength and will to go on, make me admire you more than most I see.

My soul recognizes yours and I am glad you are here with me.

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Walking makes us healthier in Body and spirit

Audra McDonie / Health & Wellness / Leave a Comment

“All truly great thoughts are conceived by walking.”
Friedrich Nietzsche

We all know that walking is good for our bodies, but did you know that walking can also be a mindful meditation? I delved a little deeper into the actual health benefits of walking and I also researched how to do a walking meditation. Here is what I found:

How Walking Can Change Your Life

Health Benefits:

Extend your life
Improve mood
Boost energy
Lower blood sugar
Strengthen heart
Burn calories
Boost immunity

According to NYTimes.com, “brisk walking is good for the aging brain. Older people with mild cognitive impairment showed improvements in brain flow and memory after a year long walking aerobic program.”

With age, people have a decline in the flow of blood to their brains. Walking increases blood flow even when you are not moving. Regular brisk walking increases the healthy flow of blood to our brains.

It is better to walk at a fast pace. It puts you into the moderate intensity zone, which has a lot more health benefits than walking slower. You should walk briskly for 30 minutes per day five or more days per week. A pedometer or a Fitbit type watch that tracks your steps has been shown to motivate people to walk more steps. 10,000 steps 4-5 days per week is a good goal!

Walking as a Mindful Meditation:

In addition to the physical benefits of walking, it also has mental and spiritual benefits as well:

Helps you find peace
Gain a different perspective
Makes you worry less

There are actually apps that have guided meditations for walking. They are great for reducing stress and increasing positivity. My Life, Headspace, Calm and Ten Percent Happier are just a few of the apps that offer guided walking meditations.

Walking meditations have their origins in Buddhism. They allow for a different awareness of your surroundings, body and thoughts. Where walking for our physical bodies requires a brisk walk, mindful walking is a slower more methodical walk.

More Benefits:

Inspires creativity
Enhances balance
Improves sleep quality
Improves well being
Alleviates depression
Improves blood sugar levels
Reduces anxiety

What does mindfulness mean exactly? To be aware of what is going on inside us and around us. Awareness of our body, emotions and thoughts in the present moment.

When doing a walking meditation you move without a goal and are aware of each step and breath. It can be practiced anywhere, in nature or on a crowded city street.

According to Gaiam.com, “clarity comes from mindfulness. We can always return to our true home, the present moment. When we practice mindfulness, we become a peaceful refuge for ourselves and others.”

“Walking on this planet is a joy. Mindful walking allows us to be aware of the pleasure of walking. We can keep our steps slow, relaxed and calm. There is no rush, no place to get to, no hurry. Mindful walking can release our sorrows and our worries and bring peace into our mind and body.”
Gaiam.com

Mindfulness takes us away from our everyday problems. It helps us to not worry about the present, regret the past, or worry about the future. It puts us right smack dab in the present moment, which is where we can see all the beautiful things right in front of us. The present moment is where we will find peace.

I have really been working on mindfulness and staying in the present moment. I realized recently, that I was always rushing through what I was doing to get it done, so I could get on to the next thing. I often felt scattered and not at peace. Since this realization, I have been trying to concentrate on what I am doing in the present moment and not think about what is going to come next. I have found that doing this gives me more peace and I am happier overall. I am going to add walking meditation to my mindfulness practice. I hope that this blog has given you some helpful information for your mental and physical health journey!

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